Makeshift (A Queer Mass), The Hope Theatre

What do you go to church for? Is it to listen to the word of God? To find solace and sanctuary amidst the challenges of this chaotic world? To find a community that helps you to build an understanding of the world around you? Is it to find acceptance?

All of this and so much more is on offer at Charli Simone’s ‘Makeshift’ church. Written and acted by Charli Simone, and directed by Giulia Cestaro, this so-titled queer mass runs in the same manner of a traditional church service and takes its audience on a similar journey - covering themes from Poverty, Chastity, Obedience, Prayer to Activism - by way of communal hymns, praying, readings and even an interactive communion. But this is no ordinary church. At Makeshift, Simone challenges the very nature of a religion that has historically, and continues to, diminish her existence as a queer woman, threatening her with extradition and oblivion, ultimately claiming that her whole way of being is shameful and sinful. Charli is well aware that she is confronting a religion that would have her regret who she is and force her to change.

Simone begins the service by welcoming us to her makeshift church. She allows us to enter this sacred space ‘welcome as you are’. She reveals her backstory - how she came to create this church, relating how she didn’t achieve what she had expected in life, i.e. marriage or domesticity, but nonetheless she has found God. The following action is in many ways an absolution in which Simone hones in on her own tumultuous relationship with religion and explores how it is fundamentally affected by her identity as a queer woman. Activism, as she will later explain, is ‘our thoughts and prayers made real’ and this play is very much about bringing her own unique take on religion and a relationship to God into reality. Charli takes on the role of a nun, and in a lyrically genius manner (and a short hour run time), illustrates the dichotomy at play in her personal situation.

As a nun, everyday her character struggles with the tension between the strict routine of a woman devoted to Christ - literally acting as ‘the property of God’ - made to be, as she repeats in one scene, ‘Mary obedient’, and her desire to resist the confines of right and wrong as defined by the strict and frigid view of religion presented to her. Opening up to her audience, she reveals her feelings of desire towards another nun and her innermost urges to be ‘disobedient’,  questioning why is it so wrong that she should feel the need to worship the body of another woman? This play is most certainly at its sharpest, both lyrically and in terms of physicality, when it examines the nature of so-called transgressions against God and the oppressive nature of con-formative religious practices. At certain moments, Charli quite literally appears to struggle for control over her own body as she repeats certain physical actions - acting out her daily routine. There is a palpable sense of internalised chaos and disorder as she fights to retain her own autonomy. This is a bold and daring portrayal of the life of a woman who has chosen to dedicate herself to Christ. However, whilst Charli most certainly feels confined by her religion, she combats this in a very interesting way. Throughout the play we come to understand that despite challenging religious structures, Charli is still very much embracing her own take on worship, prayer, devotion and her relationship with God. For instance, she actively questions the stance religion takes on certain topics, like her sense of desire which she chooses to view as indicative of her lust for life, her celebrating being alive, and embracing all of God‘s creations wholeheartedly. Her choices are bold and unabashed - there is no space for shame in Charli’s interpretation of religion. ‘To crave’ she says ‘is to be alive’ and she rejoices in this. With regards to other difficult topics, such as punishment and sin, she takes another optimistic view that once again characterises her insistence on personal choice and using religion in a way that serves her. Despite being well aware of how religion traditionally uses fear to derive permissiveness, she states ‘if the body is to burn in hell, let it first burn in pleasure on earth’. There are many moments like this when excellent writing is mastered to raise a stern fist to religion, stand up against the harshness of the system and yet simultaneously there is a palpable sense that Charli feels she owes a lot to God. In one scene, when a priest (voiceover by Arif Silverman) warns her of pride, preaching the importance of modesty with a clear undercurrent of inciting feelings of shame, she cleverly quips that ‘God would not bother to make anything not sacred.’ She refreshingly believes that she is perfect because she was made in God‘s image and she clearly envisions all of God creations as being similarly so. Rejecting the notion that to be human is to be imperfect she asks ‘why do we shrink ourselves? Why do we soften our joy?’

Staged at The Hope Theatre above the Hope and Anchor pub in Islington, this is by all means a small theatrical space. Props are limited to a few, very makeshift interpretations of what you might find at a genuine religious service. There is a bowl of glitter by the entrance, so audience members can anoint themselves head to toe, there is a jug (not full of wine but salted water) and shot glasses - for communion. There are texts on queer theory, and a piano. Charli both sings and plays the piano, alongside acting and is clearly a very skilled and practiced raconteur. Aside from Charli there are voiceovers from fellow actors, otherwise, the majority of this play is a one woman powerhouse performance from Charli. Her costume is a modest white dress. Whilst there is simplicity in the staging and costumes, if you look closely everything is a clever inversion of what you might find in a typical religious setting, transformed to encourage rather than resist queer values. The lighting is simplistic - the titles of each of the acts of the service are projected onto the back wall, as are lyrics to some of the hymns which Charli makes her audience stand for and take part in, likewise prayers are projected to encourage our involvement. Charlie has reached the conclusion that she doesn’t feel like she belongs where she wanted to for so long, or felt that she should, but in its place, she has found somewhere where she has power, and this is tangible. Leading the audience in prayer and song or inviting us onto the stage to take part in communion, as audience we are at her ‘service’ in more ways than one. This could feel a bit like a contradiction. She criticises the church for forcing us into strict moulds of being - it tells us how to behave, what to do with our bodies, our lives. In a similar vein Charli is like our cult leader at this service, controlling when we sit, rise, what we say, when we partake in certain actions. You can even see a smile gather across her face as she commands our actions, implying she relishes in this power over us. Indeed, she is very captivating and her words so raw and real that it is easy to envisage her as deeply powerful. Ultimately this makeshift church of Charli’s is very potent and I think that is because she voices everything she feels and doesn’t hold back. Her approach to religion is so enticing because she has found a way to retain a life of God whilst allowing it to truly serve her own needs. There is simply no space for oppression, fear or hate.

It really is heartening to see a play so boldly approach religion like this. Charlie steadfast refuses to play the passive, submissive role she has been prescribed. We sense that she is so able to love and embrace God and her faith because she is able to take from it only what serves her. The rest she openly discards, or indeed questions - for example - considering the signs and symbolic nature of the communion wafer, she ponders how ‘one man’s tears tend to blood, and we take him into our bodies. What about the countless people who cry every day, made to feel they don’t belong?’ She states that her church community is built out of the remainders of past lives and indeed it is a new form of worship. Charlie still looks to the same God her religion has always given her, but chooses to take guidance from her own interpretation of his teachings. This is a stark and inventive approach to a religion that has historically outcast so many who didn’t fit the mould. But rather than fully reject it, as many have and would - particularly within the queer community - Charlie simply embraces what she wants and leaves out the rest, and this demonstrates power and stability. As her own quick witted, sharp nun, Charli is captivating and inspiring. On the whole this play is both a statement on what we choose to embrace of religion and what we reject, and also a complete and wholesome queer vision of the Church. Here is a fine example of the power of theatre to bring new ideas into reality, make us mediate on difficult topics, to allow marginalised groups to voice their innermost thoughts, feelings and desires in an open and welcoming space. This play actively makes you think about religion and the many ways it can be approached, but most of all it takes back power from a religion that could be used, and historically has been used, to oppress certain groups of people. At Charli’s church, all are welcome. There is room for worshipping God, for prayer, for awe, but also - and most crucially - for hope. Anything that does not serve this purpose is simply left behind. And could this be most positive way to right the historic wrongs of religion? Or indeed to approach religion in general in the 21st-century?